hornypoetryreview dot com is up, wyd?

so we got a real domain and that means we’re real now

we are going to get set up to put out poetry, short stories, experimental fiction and essays that got a bit horny (and are too straight up thirsty for your main)

you can read about submitting to us over here – we’re always open to booty calls of the literary nature

you can just email us on that address hornypoetry at gmail dot com if you want to

remember that if you read us, please share us through the alt you use to try and catfish your ex-boyfriend with

issue one, some thoughts

today i have been wallowing like a happy pig in your literary efforts that went a bit smutty

most of you who have submitted will have received and email confirming whether we’ll be publishing your dirty laundry, or not

the standard of writing was really high and a lot of you really got it in a way that makes us really happy

so far we have eleven poets/writer for issue one, but we suppose there might be room for a few more to slip in

most poets/writers will have one poem published, but there are a couple with a lot of horny baggage that we’d like to help out

as per the plan, we will soon be turning this into a proper looking website with a domain and everything

after that, we will begin publishing the poems online for issue one

we think it would be nice to publish them in batches on sunday mornings (the horniest morning, let us be clear)

we think it might be best for issue one to start in october with issue two following for around christmas an new year – or similar

later we will get in to how to publish a collection in print (we’d love to do a dirty risograph that we somehow get illuminated in collaboration with some cool printers or something – but we don’t know how our costs would look on that)

please feel free to get in touch (to submit poems, or suggest ideas) on:

hornypoetry AT gmail DOT com

or shout at us (kindly) on twitter

we’re so pleased that this project seems to be happening – thank you all


some questions

we’ve had a few questions slithering into our DMs that we thought might be usefully answered for everyone who has ever done a poem that turned out a little bit horny

what length are you looking for?

honestly, we don’t mind right now – but we would expect poems to be in the normal range of under 80 lines, flash to be under 500 words, and essays or prose to also be shortish (under 1000 generally?)

but, frankly we’re happy with any length work as long as it fits with our remit

do i have to tell you my name?

no, we can post anonymously or unattributed or just linked to your weird tumblr or your alt twitter or whatever

do you only accept english language poems?

we only read english at this time, but – but – but – this doesn’t mean we don’t have some second languages around us, and we’re really into bilingual poems or any kind of expression of difference, so why not try us anyway?

i have published this before, online, or on my personal blog, can i send it to you?

you can, but we like things that haven’t been published elsewhere before – you’re much less likely to be chosen for an issue if you have published a poem elsewhere

is this horny enough?

usually, if the poem you’re submitting sprung to your mind when asked about horny poems, that’s a pretty horny poem

is this all going to be straight stuff?

we hope not. i mean, i hope the point of this is for you to send us the poem where you got a bit queer and horny without intending to. if you’re already pretty gay then you only need to apply the “is this piece of supposedly avant garde literature surprisingly horny?” test to know if it fits

do you want me to send you some nudes with my horny acrostic poem that was meant to be about a farm?

no, but thank you for offering. we will not be publishing any images in this journal as it stands. this is about the interaction of the writing and the writer, their perception, their understanding of self – but not necessarily their body. putting a nude next to a horny poem is a bit like when a monster movie shows the monster. that is not a comment on your nudes. we do like nudes, just not for this project.

you mentioned a print edition, what’s going on there?

we hope to put together a rough and ready print edition of at least one issue or an annual or something. we might do some further collaborative work for this and will let you know all about it in advance

do you pay?

no, sorry, not yet anyway

can i send you money?

this is a joke, no one has asked this at all

who are you?

we don’t really want to disclose that, but we’re not anyone famous or cool

who aren’t you?

we aren’t your boyfriend, your boss or your postman, if that helps

i have a question?

slide in to the DMs or email hornypoetry [AT] gmail [DOT] com and we will try and answer it on this page as well as directly


the plan

shortly the horny poetry review issue one will be open for submissions

we will collect as many submissions as we can, until we have enough for a print issue

when we have enough for a print issue, we will update the site to be a little bit more profesh (just a custom domain really)

and then we will begin publishing the poems from this first issue online

at the end of the year, all going well, we will put together a print issue of the magazine for sale

and then we’ll see if we can do it again, or if everyone has given up on being literary and horny at the same time

what we’re here for

the horny poetry review is a literary journal for all of the literary work that you create, that turns out slightly hornier than you expected.

this might include love poetry you wrote for someone you shouldn’t have, experimental prose in which (to your surprise) you discover you have a bit of a fetish for something, or flash fiction where literally everything is fucking (metaphorically?)

this is nor a place for smut, dirty limmericks, or porn – although, of course – there is a case to be made for a porny-poem being a perfect fit.

we still want your best, most experimental poetry, prose and flash fiction.

we don’t mind if it’s dark, we don’t mind if it’s weird – we do mind if it’s boring

please read about submitting your writing over here.